I feel like I'm living in the book "Where the Wild Things Are".
I am a runner. Not just physically, but in every activity I encompass. I run through life- through days, through weeks, through months, through years. I run through life day after day, thriving on the busy hustle and bustle. But for the first time in my life, I have nothing to run through. No school full-time, no full-time job, no major activity keeping me entertained and busy. For some reason, God is making me step back and slow down. To say that I enjoy it would definitely not be the best way to describe it. In fact, I hate it. It's depressing.
But these depressing thoughts make me question....why is it such a bad thing to finally have time to stop and smell the roses? Is it because when I am not entertained I start to evaluate my current life and how it is far from ideal? Or is it because it seems boring in comparison to the life I used to live? Or is it because it seems boring compared to the life I want to lead?
My entire life I've either designed a plan or had one laid out for me. As a big bad 5th grader, at least I knew what to expect next...6th grade. High school led to college. College was supposed to lead to a full time job. I should know by now what I want to do with the rest of my life...right..? Wrong.
For the first time, I feel lost in the abyss. Lost in this big giant forest. In this forest, it's raining. No, not just raining. Pouring. I can't find a dry place to sit....somewhere comfortable, somewhere protected and safe. I know safety eventually comes out of the discomfort, so I will keep holding on. Keep searching for the dry patch of grass. But I do know one thing..I don't like the wet soggy feeling. Not one little bit.
