It's him or me, that's what he said.
But I can't choose between a vegan and a pothead, so I chose you because you're sweet and you give me lots of lovin' and you eat meat.
And that's how you became my only man of the hour.
You never lie, and you don't cheat, and you don't have any baggage tied to your four feet. Do I deserve to be the one who will feed you breakfast, lunch and dinner and take you to the park at dawn?
Will you really be my only man of the hour?
I know you'll never bring me flowers, flowers they will only die. And though we'll never take a shower together, I know you'll never make me cry. You never argue, you don't even talk, and I like the way you let me lead you when we go outside and walk.
Will you really be my only man of the hour?
My only man of the hour, my only man of the hour.
-Norah Jones
9.9.11
Life is what happens while we're making plans...
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"- Jeremiah 29:11
For my graduation, I was given a necklace by Mama & Papa Stokes engraved with this exact verse on it. It meant a great deal to me- not just because it was a gift from two amazing individuals that have supported me a great deal during my college years, but because I was also one of those students that graduated from college and said "now what?" I graduated among some of the brightest individuals of our future; students ready to go on and do great things with their lives, whether it be medical school or technological advances. Students that had a plan...in fact, I always thought I WAS one of those students. I thought I would be that student that would graduate, go right into graduate school, and have it all planned out. I had a plan in my head when I graduated high school, yet nothing went according to that plan for me. So when I graduated a few months ago and thought to myself, "now what", I couldn't have been more confused. How did I get here? How did I become this person? I thought maybe taking a year off after undergrad would be the kiss of death for me. But in these few months, I have learned more about myself than I ever expected. I know I want to do music, and I know God is calling me to use the talents I have been given that others may not have. But over the past few months I have been praying constantly about where I am called, where my future lies. Many have encouraged me to stay teaching but maybe consider it to be something more full-time. While being torn in each and every direction, I just kept finding myself returning to this quote. I have been reminded that even though I don't know the plan, the big man upstairs does. Even if I feel lost, I'm not.
A few days ago, a thought came to me about the school that I wanted to go to for undergrad after I have been praying about my future plans continuously. I began to look into their graduate programs. I now have found that while nothing worked for me to attend that school right out of high school despite being accepted, it seems everything would be in the cards for me to go there now for graduate school. They have started a Masters Degree program in exactly what I wanted my undergraduate degree in. I would need only one year of coursework to begin graduate classes, and could even qualify for independent status in terms of financial aid. With that said, I will begin the application process to apply for graduate school for fall 2012.
How am I feeling? I am feeling nervous,worried, grateful, unsure, and did I mention nervous? I am not sure if I'm making the right choice, and I know people will question my every move. But for now my only answer is, it just feels right. And that is the only way I've ever known God to answer my prayers...when it just feels right with no explanation.
For my graduation, I was given a necklace by Mama & Papa Stokes engraved with this exact verse on it. It meant a great deal to me- not just because it was a gift from two amazing individuals that have supported me a great deal during my college years, but because I was also one of those students that graduated from college and said "now what?" I graduated among some of the brightest individuals of our future; students ready to go on and do great things with their lives, whether it be medical school or technological advances. Students that had a plan...in fact, I always thought I WAS one of those students. I thought I would be that student that would graduate, go right into graduate school, and have it all planned out. I had a plan in my head when I graduated high school, yet nothing went according to that plan for me. So when I graduated a few months ago and thought to myself, "now what", I couldn't have been more confused. How did I get here? How did I become this person? I thought maybe taking a year off after undergrad would be the kiss of death for me. But in these few months, I have learned more about myself than I ever expected. I know I want to do music, and I know God is calling me to use the talents I have been given that others may not have. But over the past few months I have been praying constantly about where I am called, where my future lies. Many have encouraged me to stay teaching but maybe consider it to be something more full-time. While being torn in each and every direction, I just kept finding myself returning to this quote. I have been reminded that even though I don't know the plan, the big man upstairs does. Even if I feel lost, I'm not.
A few days ago, a thought came to me about the school that I wanted to go to for undergrad after I have been praying about my future plans continuously. I began to look into their graduate programs. I now have found that while nothing worked for me to attend that school right out of high school despite being accepted, it seems everything would be in the cards for me to go there now for graduate school. They have started a Masters Degree program in exactly what I wanted my undergraduate degree in. I would need only one year of coursework to begin graduate classes, and could even qualify for independent status in terms of financial aid. With that said, I will begin the application process to apply for graduate school for fall 2012.
How am I feeling? I am feeling nervous,worried, grateful, unsure, and did I mention nervous? I am not sure if I'm making the right choice, and I know people will question my every move. But for now my only answer is, it just feels right. And that is the only way I've ever known God to answer my prayers...when it just feels right with no explanation.
8.9.11
Gravity.
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long, no matter what I say or do, I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile, When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone.
Set me free,leave me be, I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, I'm just the way I'm supposed to be, but your on to me and all over me.
I live here on my knees, as I try to make you see that your everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe, though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know, is that your keeping me down, keeping me down.
You're on to me, on to me, and all over.
Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long.
It never takes too long, no matter what I say or do, I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be, I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, I'm just the way I'm supposed to be, But your on to me and all over me.
But you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone.
Set me free,leave me be, I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, I'm just the way I'm supposed to be, but your on to me and all over me.
I live here on my knees, as I try to make you see that your everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe, though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know, is that your keeping me down, keeping me down.
You're on to me, on to me, and all over.
Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long.
Blog Title Change
Hello all my dear readers,
So, you may have noticed I have decided to change the title of my blog. There are a few reasons for this. When My Doodle & Me came to be, it was a starting point for me to have an outlet for my creative writing, and most of my daily chronicling came from my day to day experiences with Bailey. But I have new aspirations for my blog at this point. I have been finding myself writing things deeper than just musings with Bailey. So, with that said, there are some new goals of my blog. I want to target more readers and achieve a better design and layout. I want it to encompass every day reflections of my life as well as simple details of my days as usual, however I want to start including more song lyrics, photos, Bailey's day, future & past reflections, recipes, health and wellness, and much more. I would even like to eventually gain some sponsors.
However, with the new title comes a new subtitle that encompasses all of that as well. Therefore, I throw it out to the reading world to help me come up with something that could potentially touch on all aspects of my life in that regard. So, with that said, get commenting! :)
So, you may have noticed I have decided to change the title of my blog. There are a few reasons for this. When My Doodle & Me came to be, it was a starting point for me to have an outlet for my creative writing, and most of my daily chronicling came from my day to day experiences with Bailey. But I have new aspirations for my blog at this point. I have been finding myself writing things deeper than just musings with Bailey. So, with that said, there are some new goals of my blog. I want to target more readers and achieve a better design and layout. I want it to encompass every day reflections of my life as well as simple details of my days as usual, however I want to start including more song lyrics, photos, Bailey's day, future & past reflections, recipes, health and wellness, and much more. I would even like to eventually gain some sponsors.
However, with the new title comes a new subtitle that encompasses all of that as well. Therefore, I throw it out to the reading world to help me come up with something that could potentially touch on all aspects of my life in that regard. So, with that said, get commenting! :)
7.9.11
We live in a world with a great variety of individuals that often make up many different communities each and every one of us is apart of. Each and every person has been created different in God's eyes- and that in part is the beauty of his creation. But how often we allow our differences to turn us into a cruel group of people...people that judge each other, people that blame each other, people that say hurtful things about others. We are a people that often forget it could be us in that position that we criticize. I think today's reading speaks a great deal about this.
Luke 6:20-26
"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice on that day and leap for joy, for surely your reward is great in heaven; for that is what their ancestors did to the prophets. But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you who are full now, for you will be hungry. Woe to you who are laughing now, for you will mourn and weep. Woe to you when all speak well of you, for that is what their ancestors did to the false prophets".
While the beginning of this reading makes it very clear that those who struggle will have the day when the struggle will be over, that wasn't the part of the reading that I found hefty. The part I found to be beautiful and amazing is rejoicing on the day and leaping for joy when people are mean to you and speak lowly of you and make you feel like a lesser person. When our world is cruel, rejoice. You know, so often we hear how young students in high school have a high percentage of depression and suicide rates. Bullying has become a national issue in almost every school setting. When someone is telling you that you aren't good enough or aren't pretty enough or aren't smart enough, how do you stand up to them even more in today's society and say, "But its ok, I have the Lord God on my side." without being bullied even more for your beliefs when the belief in God has been pushed so far out of our society and from schools?
The last part of the reading, however, was where I found that answer. At first glance, it could read as a revengeful statement. But in fact, it isn't. It is speaking of how through all of our differences we are still human and will still all face similar struggles. It speaks volumes about how we judge each other. You may judge someone for being poor, but eventually that could be you. You could judge someone for being upset and chuckle at their loss and upset, but eventually at some point you too will cry and weep. The last statement is saying, be careful of how you judge others. It could be you.
We are all different- but we all experiences ups and downs, highs and lows, rough times and great times. It is our duty to each other to support each other through each of these times and uplift each other, not kick each other down. In a time of war, financial insecurity, and woe, why not try and find the positive and support each other? Because at the end of the day, that may be all we have left.
Luke 6:20-26
"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice on that day and leap for joy, for surely your reward is great in heaven; for that is what their ancestors did to the prophets. But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you who are full now, for you will be hungry. Woe to you who are laughing now, for you will mourn and weep. Woe to you when all speak well of you, for that is what their ancestors did to the false prophets".
While the beginning of this reading makes it very clear that those who struggle will have the day when the struggle will be over, that wasn't the part of the reading that I found hefty. The part I found to be beautiful and amazing is rejoicing on the day and leaping for joy when people are mean to you and speak lowly of you and make you feel like a lesser person. When our world is cruel, rejoice. You know, so often we hear how young students in high school have a high percentage of depression and suicide rates. Bullying has become a national issue in almost every school setting. When someone is telling you that you aren't good enough or aren't pretty enough or aren't smart enough, how do you stand up to them even more in today's society and say, "But its ok, I have the Lord God on my side." without being bullied even more for your beliefs when the belief in God has been pushed so far out of our society and from schools?
The last part of the reading, however, was where I found that answer. At first glance, it could read as a revengeful statement. But in fact, it isn't. It is speaking of how through all of our differences we are still human and will still all face similar struggles. It speaks volumes about how we judge each other. You may judge someone for being poor, but eventually that could be you. You could judge someone for being upset and chuckle at their loss and upset, but eventually at some point you too will cry and weep. The last statement is saying, be careful of how you judge others. It could be you.
We are all different- but we all experiences ups and downs, highs and lows, rough times and great times. It is our duty to each other to support each other through each of these times and uplift each other, not kick each other down. In a time of war, financial insecurity, and woe, why not try and find the positive and support each other? Because at the end of the day, that may be all we have left.
6.9.11
Love Your Neighbor as Yourself
When I was younger, I remember sitting through the church service and tuning out during mostly every reading, and most ESPECIALLY during the sermon. As I have gotten older, it has been a challenge of my faith to pay attention to each and every reading, and still at times zone out. But recently, I have found the diligence to be important. Maybe it is because as you get older you have more life experience, and those life experiences allow you to relate with the readings each week. And maybe when you are younger you can't relate- like the one reading, When you were a child you reasoned like a child. Everything about being a child is so simple, why complicate it with meditation and deep thought? But this one reading spoke incredibly loud to me this past weekend on many levels.
Romans 13:8-14
"Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet;" and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, "Love your neighbor as yourself". Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; the night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light; let us live honorably as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires".
This reading spoke to me on an incredible amount of levels. So often in life we reflect on the small black and white details of everything, and I feel the commandments are something that make that easy to do. If every day we focused on each and every commandment individually, we would feel worn out, exhausted, depleted. I mean, come on...who ISN'T gluttonous on a daily basis? But this reading shows us, if you LOVE each and every day, those small black and white details disappear and have already been taken care of. Love encompasses each and every thing we do.
The other part of this reading that particularly caught my attention was "Love does no wrong to a neighbor". I know that in the past few years of my life, I have made decisions that have done wrong to some of the people closest in my life.....each of which should and always will be considered a neighbor. So often we think the word "neighbor" refers to someone that lives next door physically. But I think the word neighbor in this reading reflects on those that live next door to us daily in our spiritual lives. And those people I have erred in the past few years. This reading showed me that I was not acting in the love that I was saying I had. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. I feel this reading allowed me to ask for forgiveness on many levels.
But beyond even my actions, I have found even deeper meaning in this statement. Being in the world of theatre, the life of an actor is drama, personal or on stage. I often find that when working on a show with other individuals, it is more than just "work". I find that in the process of creating an entire piece of art formed from a group of people, peoples' egos have the potential to be destroyed and people have the opportunity to forget why we do what we do. So often it becomes less and less about the love of theatre and more about the actor. A great person once said, "Love the art in yourself not yourself in the art". And even in this process, gossip ensues...oh, is it never ending and it is always surrounding you. And how easy it is to jump on board when everyone else around you is talking about someone you may already not have the strongest feelings for as a friend. But as a Christian, at that moment, that is when I realized in this reading that those are the moments when I must follow this verse: "Let us lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light". Because how soon that person that everyone is talking about could end up being me, or them, or ANYONE. We are all human and everyone has things that make them difficult to get along with at times, but if we love our neighbor as ourselves, we may find we end up loving those flaws in that person instead of allowing them to bother us. And in the long run, we may end up with a new friend.
I think paying attention to the readings in church may be a step forward in the right direction, even if I did have a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast.
Romans 13:8-14
"Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet;" and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, "Love your neighbor as yourself". Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; the night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light; let us live honorably as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires".
This reading spoke to me on an incredible amount of levels. So often in life we reflect on the small black and white details of everything, and I feel the commandments are something that make that easy to do. If every day we focused on each and every commandment individually, we would feel worn out, exhausted, depleted. I mean, come on...who ISN'T gluttonous on a daily basis? But this reading shows us, if you LOVE each and every day, those small black and white details disappear and have already been taken care of. Love encompasses each and every thing we do.
The other part of this reading that particularly caught my attention was "Love does no wrong to a neighbor". I know that in the past few years of my life, I have made decisions that have done wrong to some of the people closest in my life.....each of which should and always will be considered a neighbor. So often we think the word "neighbor" refers to someone that lives next door physically. But I think the word neighbor in this reading reflects on those that live next door to us daily in our spiritual lives. And those people I have erred in the past few years. This reading showed me that I was not acting in the love that I was saying I had. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. I feel this reading allowed me to ask for forgiveness on many levels.
But beyond even my actions, I have found even deeper meaning in this statement. Being in the world of theatre, the life of an actor is drama, personal or on stage. I often find that when working on a show with other individuals, it is more than just "work". I find that in the process of creating an entire piece of art formed from a group of people, peoples' egos have the potential to be destroyed and people have the opportunity to forget why we do what we do. So often it becomes less and less about the love of theatre and more about the actor. A great person once said, "Love the art in yourself not yourself in the art". And even in this process, gossip ensues...oh, is it never ending and it is always surrounding you. And how easy it is to jump on board when everyone else around you is talking about someone you may already not have the strongest feelings for as a friend. But as a Christian, at that moment, that is when I realized in this reading that those are the moments when I must follow this verse: "Let us lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light". Because how soon that person that everyone is talking about could end up being me, or them, or ANYONE. We are all human and everyone has things that make them difficult to get along with at times, but if we love our neighbor as ourselves, we may find we end up loving those flaws in that person instead of allowing them to bother us. And in the long run, we may end up with a new friend.
I think paying attention to the readings in church may be a step forward in the right direction, even if I did have a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast.
1.9.11
It may not be January 1st, but come Monday I will begin somewhat of a "new year's resolution" list. Maybe consider a new season list? Most of my readers already know that sometime early next year I plan on moving to NYC and I am feeling, after a recent change of wind in my life, that there are some things I need to accomplish before I will feel ready to move. This list will be challenged first thing Monday morning, and will continue throughout the year....
1) Exercise almost every day- get my body into amazing shape. I want to be able to do modeling if need be and feel confident about my body.
2) Start yoga again.
3) Try and go vegan again.
4) Get Bailey trained...that may not start monday, but it's on the list.
5) Get my finances in order and at a healthy standpoint.
6) Start saving for NYC.
These are all big feats, but all necessary before moving. These WILL happen starting Monday. And now since you have all read this, I KNOW you won't let me slack.......right....?
1) Exercise almost every day- get my body into amazing shape. I want to be able to do modeling if need be and feel confident about my body.
2) Start yoga again.
3) Try and go vegan again.
4) Get Bailey trained...that may not start monday, but it's on the list.
5) Get my finances in order and at a healthy standpoint.
6) Start saving for NYC.
These are all big feats, but all necessary before moving. These WILL happen starting Monday. And now since you have all read this, I KNOW you won't let me slack.......right....?
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